That time I learnt to drop kick a football…
Years ago… and I’m talking about 15 years ago! I asked my then boyfriend teach me to drop kick a football. I was never a ‘girly’ girl, always running around with the guys and so I would get frustrated when out for a walk and a wayward ball from a group of kids rolled across my path.
I wanted to get over that awkward moment of lamely trying to kick it back or picking it up and throwing it, only for it to land a few metres in front of me (even worse!) So I figured if I learnt to properly drop kick a ball I would be challenging norms (a girl knowing how to kick a ball really well!) feel a little bit smug, and avoid all awkwardness in the process… a total win-win-win.
So then it began.
Pretty much every weekend for weeks (or maybe even months) I spent hours out on the playing field on a Sunday afternoon learning how to drop kick a football. My poor boyfriend patiently helping me. As you can imagine there was a lot of running after balls. Now, anyone who knows me well, also knows how stubborn I can be. This was particularly pronounced in my younger years when I was less able to deal well with this personality trait and it would result in a lot of tantrums ;-)
However, I did get pretty good at kicking that ball!
But when I look back now I wonder how well that actually served me. Sure, being ambitious and driven to achieve a goal (pun unintended!) can be a very good thing, but the focus on enjoying the journey towards it is something that is now so much more important to me and one I had never even considered at the time. I didn’t particularly enjoy the journey of learning to kick that ball, and once i’d nailed it I didn’t maintain the practice, so the skill quickly slipped away again.
We can be so caught up in a ‘future focused’ mindset of reaching the end goal, that we totally forget to consider at the outset how we might feel throughout the process it takes to get there- a process which may take months or even years. Then, as we all too often see, when we do reach that goal it might not even be what we quite wanted or expected anyway.
Over very recent months and years my relationship to goal-setting has changed significantly. I tend to use the word ‘intentions’ rather than ’goals’, which for me has more freedom, feels more heart-centred and less head dominated. Something to work towards with a deeper appreciation and awareness for each present moment, opening myself to opportunities that may cross my path that I may have otherwise been blind to.
